so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
