dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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