what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
