i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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