It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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