3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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