There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
