just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize