if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
