honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
