My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
