where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
