i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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