come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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