is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
