Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
