Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
