Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
