I think my vagina is haunted
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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