People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
operation harelip BJ is a go
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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