I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
