I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
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