and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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