Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
