Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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