Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
