i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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