dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
