problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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