covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
