i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
a search helicopter?!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
