It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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