There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize