I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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