I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
