i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
