Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
As shirtless as possible
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
