That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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