i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
