i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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