I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
