Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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