so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
