So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
