he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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