Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
