Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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