problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
MIDGETS
????
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
