I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Did you just see the Batmobile???
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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