Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
