dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
