is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
