If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
