Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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