My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Drunk is a universal language darling
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
