What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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