you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
