just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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