Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
