i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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